
The meticulously maintained front lawn has become an overtly expressed trait of The American Dream. The front lawn is a mainstay of American culture. Food culture journalist and icon Michael Pollan has poked both seriously and lightly at the merits, or demerits rather, of the front lawn. And in the end, he posits that residential landscapes are personal matters. I agree. Don’t get me wrong, I think edible yards are really cool. But beyond the debates of dual use, aesthetic, fertilizer, and pesticides, I have found the simple act of mowing the lawn to be a tremendously calming and healing act.
For 4 months now, I have been living with my 89-year old grandfather in Pinehurst, North Carolina. Grandpa needed help recovering from the post-operative effects of anesthesia. He had a carpal tunnel release surgery for hand pain and stiffness. I was also the grandson charged with staging his home for sale. The Friday morning following surgery, Grandpa asked, “Sean, what do I have to do to get up to Vermont?”
The task was a welcome call. I was in a funk. I had recently said farewell to a girlfriend and hello to the personal demons that haunt my relationships. I was just recovering from a gnarly bike crash that just about crushed my spirit on the asphalt. I was also in between careers. But mostly, I relish getting my hands dirty in soil, paint, wallpaper glue, even relish -- anything to hide the privileged whiteness ahead and under my cuticles.
So I began preparing my Grandpa’s home and property for sale. I soon found myself very connected to his home. The sensation brought to mind the movie Life as a House?, where the recently jobless and terminally ill cancer patient played by Kevin Kline expresses himself through the renovation of an old property. I’m not terminally ill, but I am officially jobless, and here I was working on my Grandpa’s home, feeling for the first time in a long time, like I had a home.
Out on the property, I weeded the driveways and spread blue stone. I ordered in a few yard of mulch. I got the irrigation working. I spread some more grass seed. In particular, I’ve enjoyed mowing the lawn. I temporarily relieved the hired lawn crew for a few months. It’s not that Henry and his crew were not excellent or overpriced -- it’s just that I could do the work. I needed to keep busy. And when I go some day, we’ll bring Henry back. Grandpa needs the company.
Pictured above is the old Craftsman lawn mower I found in Grandpa’s garage. The bars were rusted, the blade was dull, and duct tape held one wheel together. The lawn mower hand’t been started in years. I primed the small engine, and unloaded my strongest pull of the start cord. But I could not get the relic started. Grandpa swiftly came to my aid with a spray bottle of ‘Starting Fluid.’ The can looked vintage. 1940’s vintage. I was skeptical. I had never seen or needed starting fluid to get my Dad’s mower started when I was younger. Alas, she fired and I was mowing.
Instantly, I was in the zone. That precious quality of timelessness and mindlessness. All there was to do and think about was the task at hand. Put one foot in front of the other. Just cut the grass. There is a clear start and a clear finish. Enjoy the sun beating on my bare shoulders. Walk the line. I did not own that property, but for those 45 minutes, I pretended that I did. And it felt good.
The practice of mowing the lawn also transported me back in time. To my teenage years in Vermont. My father maintained a very nice front lawn. He hired Chem-Lawn at the start of each season for their magic spray. The fertilizer and pesticide formulation might as well have been spray-on deep forest green. It was the nicest lawn in the neighborhood. My Dad preferred to mow diagonally, alternating direction each week, to bring out that signature ballpark cross-hatch. The kids in the neighborhood asked me how my father did it. When I reached some esoteric age of uncertain talent and appreciation, of which I do not recall, my father allowed me to mow the lawn. Even the front lawn. And I enjoyed doing it. It was part chore but mostly craft. I mowed a straight line.
The front lawn came at a cost though. Not only was it part chore, but part showcase of green blades and precisely placed tire tracks. My brother, sister, and I were not allowed to play in the front yard. Our ball throwing, kicking, and croquet were relegated to the backyard. It should also be known that the backyard was also a very nice spot of lawn. My father’s care of the front lawn extended through the Winter season -- he preferred that my brother and I not play in the snow in the front yard. It was a pristine blanket not to be touched. My brother, sister, and I respected the Summertime Mandate, but like any Vermont kids with life in them, we played in the front yard snow! Snow forts. Snowmen. Ski tracks. Dad’s carrot nose cringed.
I continue to cut my Grandpa’s front lawn. It’s a weekly meditation. It reminds me of a time when I was a child, innocent and free, yet also wholly entrusted with a task. It helps remind me what having a home of my own one day will feel like. And for now, I guess I’ve done such a good job with the house that Grandpa has decided to stay. Pinehurst is his home. And this is my yard.







